So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
