he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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