is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
