She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Are we still banned from the library?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
