just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
