Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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