New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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