There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
