White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
