I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
