please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
