There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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