Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
