OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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