It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
