dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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