Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
