apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
