He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
