So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
