.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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