I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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