soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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