This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
