I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
