The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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