How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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