It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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