There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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