God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
