Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
tell me about the fingering
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