I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
