do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize