I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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