OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
