Where is the hickey?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
