we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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