you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
