Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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