tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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