I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
