Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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