I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
