..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
