apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
