No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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