We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
