well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
