8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
