so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sober January is a disaster.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
